At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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