let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
