She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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