I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
