dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
