I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
