Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
