i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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