Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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