If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
