He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
