Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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