areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
