Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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