I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
