Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
operation have a gay friend backfired
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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