so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
