In the future we'll all be gay
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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