Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
