your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
