I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
