I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
