why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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