Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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