so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
