Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
