I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
