how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
