im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Drunk is not a location!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
