8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Shame - the story of my life.
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