She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
