im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
