And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
