she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
