so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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