i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
