haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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