Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
