I want to have your abortion
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
