I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
