I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
