Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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