the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
