Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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