does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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