I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
