I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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