Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
