There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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