and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
