people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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