420 ftw
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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