New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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