I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
