I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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