She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
