Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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