You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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